Not Gay Porn

On popular blogs, the authors tend to avoid certain expressions or manipulate the lettering of these expressions, so that the blog isn't tapped as part of internet search results for pornographic or otherwise non-applicable terms.

The Preferred Daughter is not a popular blog, so I think I've got nothing to worry about on that front.

A recurring theme today: My problems lie elsewhere.

For example, after our walk this morning, Mom wanted to talk to me about my current career choices. Wait - Why am I even beginning to go into this? I didn't mind talking with my mom about it -- well, yes I did mind, a little, and, out of respect, I had to make a conscious point of allowing her to finish each time she spoke, even when I knew where her comments were headed (and didn't want to hear it). By contrast, I really don't feel like talking about it with you, Blog. In my head, you're far too judgmental. ;)

No, I don't feel like talking about Mom's concerns right now, and I didn't feel like it at the time, either, and I told her why: I've got bigger fish to fry. And my particular bigger fish are not gay porn, but gay porn is what I wanted to write about here today:

I feel I should clarify something from the last post. Now, understand that I have decided that I'm going to just Let It Go as far as any of my discomfort about previous posts. I have decided that I will just release them each to the universe, and Oh Well. If I've got a "clarification," I can write a new post about my current position on any given matter. I have decided that it isn't good practice -- you know, in the absence of any actual audience requesting clarification -- it isn't good practice to second-guess what might have been said before. It hampers forward movement, for one, to be trying continually to refine and clarify the past. It's also a little disrespectful to Past-Crystal who, I can assure you, thought carefully about what she wanted to say at the time. If what resulted was her truth, So Be It. I'll write a new post if I have something different to say. And while I enjoy meta-conversations aplenty, I realize that they are a drag for most.

That's my official policy about my doubts about previous posts...at least when it comes to ME.

However, I think I may have been unclear in my last post about something pertaining to the Handsome Man, and I want to rectify that:

Regarding the scene I describe in my last post, Genre Clues, about waking up to a movie playing on Netflix that I couldn't identify: It is an indication of my groggy state that I suspected gay porn. The Handsome Man, to my knowledge, doesn't partake of gay porn. We haven't ever watched it together, I haven't ever seen it on our Blockbuster or Netflix or hulu viewing histories, and he hasn't ever expressed an interest in watching it. It's just not something he's into. So to the extent that I suspected the movie might be gay porn, it was terrifically funny to me, because I thought he might be watching something that he hadn't REALIZED was gay porn, maybe thinking it was an action flick or something. And I was going to get to explain to him that it was gay porn, and THAT was going to be HILARIOUS! I would have watched the whole movie with him from start to finish just to laugh and point out the gay porn-ness of it all, if that was the case.

(Handsome can be kind of oblivious to the bigger picture sometimes. That might be why our relationship works so well.)

But it was not gay porn. And that was just a tiny bit of a let down, that's how hard I was going to laugh.

And none of this explanation is coming because Handsome gives a shit. HE doesn't think you're overly judgmental, Blog. He didn't say to me, "Hey, in that last post you kind of make it sound like I MIGHT be watching gay porn." Nope. His thing was, "You thought it might be gay porn?" Like, Why would YOU think it was gay porn? And I think I have clarified where I was coming from, so my work is finished here.